My Time Has Come

I know I haven't updated in awhile but things have gotten kinda hectic

I got a new car, I already love it more than anything lol

I made Justin's girlfriend really mad at him, I can't believe he actually asked her

I'm still mad a Will

Thomas and I have hit a few rocky spots but I still love him

My family is coming over tonight

My brother is in trouble in with the credit union my parents are bailing him out, he's also in trouble in school I am forced to bail him out

I have a hard enough time with my own classes without having to deal with his

I hate the fact that they make me
I hate the fact that I'll never be good enough for my mom
I dont' even know why I care any more




Hang me, watch awhile
Let me see you smile as I die
Take me, as my body burns
Let me see you yearn, while I cry

One step on your own
And you walk all over me
One head in the clouds
You won't let go
You're too proud
One light to the blind, and they see
One touch on the head, we believe

Adore me as I drift away
Let me hear you say I'm fine
You cry as my body dies
All that you despised is gone away

One step on your own
And you walk all over me
One head in the clouds
You won't let go, you're too proud
One light to the blind, and they see
One touch on the head, we believe
We believe

One step on your own
And you walk all over me
One head in the clouds
You won't let go, you're too proud
One light to the blind, and they see
One touch on the head, we believe
We believe



Willingly into the arms of death I go, Glady I heed his call, I feel his hands wrap around my wrist, and the pain of the cuts is gone, I feel nothing, I feel peace, I am nothing, I am extinct, I am free.

You are spoon guy. You should have planned ahead
buddy, or packed a bigger lunch.

which rejected character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm bored can't you tell?

cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Okay I'm having too much fun with Quizzes so let me just get to what I have to say.

Halloween
Cela and Thomas and I had fun. Scary Movie 3 was great better than all of the others. Saw Paul not the best time of my life. Hemann saw him too, she still talks about what a nice guy he was.

Birthday

Yay that's tomorrow nothing really I ever look forward to wtih my parents but with my friends it's always fun. Though this year I getting a car!! way cool.

You are Form 1, Goddess: The Creator. "And The Goddess planted the acorn of life.
She cried a single tear and shed a single drop
of blood upon the earth where she buried it.
From her blood and tear, the acorn grew into
the world." Some examples of the Goddess Form are Gaia (Greek),
Jehova (Christian), and Brahma (Indian). The Goddess is associated with the concept of
creation, the number 1, and the element of
earth. Her sign is the dawn sun. As a member of Form 1, you are a charismatic
individual and people are drawn to you.
Although sometimes you may seem emotionally
distant, you are deeply in tune with other
people's feelings and have tremendous empathy.
Sometimes you have a tendency to neglect your
own self. Goddesses are the best friends to
have because they're always willing to help.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
YOU EAT PEOPLE!!!

what's YOUR deepest secret?
brought to you by Quizilla
Your serial killer name would be Diablo! You would
be a mastermind in what you do. You would come
up with perfect plans on how to do your bad
stuff, and send out your minions to do it for
you. That would prevent you from getting
caught, because for one reason, they would not
rat you out. Your real name might not be known
and you would be greatly wanted, because as
long as you're out on the hidden streets, there
will still be danger! You're the big guy/girl!

What Would Your Serial Killer Name Be? What Would the Public Know You As?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hey guys

Well um got a nice bit of homework, mainly because I haven't been keeping up with my math. I haven't been paying attention to what I'm doing in either of my online classes so I'll just get B's in the both of them. OH well I've gotten to the point where I really don't care about my GPA.

And Hey I actually got a college brochure for Stetson yesturday, sigh another college I would die for, but my folks can't afford and scholarships don't quite cover. I really wish my folks would let me go to Brown I got an entire book from them a week ago, seems awesome and they said we might go a take a tour of the campus later. I also got a book from Northwestern which is weird because I didn't even ask for it, most colleges just send me the simple little brochure. Glad most of them have the wrong address though, I'm getting enough of these things as it is. I didn't realize I was such an asset lol.

I also have finally updated my writting and I'm going to try and do that more often. Yeah I miss it I guess, or I don't know lately I've just been in a really blah mood lately, I really don't want to think what I'd be like if Thomas wasn't around. Just knowing that somewhere despite it all there's always someone that loves me, is the greatest comfort in the world. Makes me glad that Alex and Mallory are going out, he really needs someone to take the time to see beyond the front he puts on for everyone. It's almost scary that I have so much practice in those things. But I helped Ky through it, and well I helped my Al as much as I could before he left. And Paul had more problems than anyone cares to get into.

I don't think I'll ever name a kid Alex, mainly because as Alex was saying the other day there is something in a name, and both the Alex's I've known in my life I'm constantly worrying they'll end up dead, one from keeping everything inside,  (and Alex I'll be damned if you think I'm done with you) and the other from well everything in his life blowing up on him. And Ky I'm sorry but I'll never give up on him, not for anything in the world.

I guess that's it for today, still in a blah mood so these entries are bound to be a little weird.

Well it's been ok I guess.Cel's birthday, which isn't as much fun as it used to be. I don't know what to think anymore we grow further apart by the day but then other times it seems as if nothing has changed. I don't know what to do anymore.

Granted I could dael with having no one but Thomas by my side but really, I can't bear the thought of losing someone I've known for so long, not after losing my Alex. Nothing will ever get me over that, I'm tired of always wondering if he's alive or dead. He was everything to me, the first person I knew I could count on for anything, and the first person whom I was willing to tell anything, a feat which has only been matched by Thomas. I don't really know why Alex came to mind, but I just feel overwhelming saddness when I think about my Al and everything he went through and is going through. But then there is always that smile whenever I think of how he was the only guy my father ever approved of.

Um in other news, Thomas is still my life and everything to me. My parents are really getting used to him, and I love my mother for letting him over yesturday. I needed that time with him, I hate this feeling that I can't be there for him like I should. Just that I don't always know what to say or I think of it much too late... I don't know if I'll ever be good at this caring for someone, the whole I don't feel someone cares about me unless they feel pain over me. I don't know where the Hell that came from but I really hate it, sometimes I don't know if I get so upset because I am sad or if I just want to worry Thomas. I know he loves me and I don't understand why I feel the need to do that to him, he doesn't deserve that.

gah I'm sorry for the rant, just needed to let a few things out of my head

love and peace
Dev

I had a really great day with Thomas yesturday. I mean Runaway Jury turned out to be a great movie and it was all the more fun with Thomas there. Though he made fun of one of my little habits that I have during movies.

Then we went to Petsmart and he made me a dogtag that said "Property of Thomas J. Doyle" for the collar he got me. It's really cute though I'm not sure my parents would approve.

Lets see we also went to Toojays. I actually got Thomas to try my Napoleon dessert and some Backlavia. Hehe I'm surprised he actually liked them, most people I know get way to frustrated with the Napoleon.

Then we spent a few hours at the carnival, the cutie had the bizarre desire to win me something. lol. But my lion has a permanent spot on my bed lol.

Today I felt like dying the purple stripe in my hair again. I really liked it in my blonde hair so hopefully it looks good in my red hair. Oh and I painted little spiders on my nails.

Thomas and I are growing really close, I don't think I've ever gotten close to someone so soon, but I don't know, Thomas is just so wonderful. I don't know I prefer his company to anyone else, (Cel you're my sister and I love you, and you know one word from you and Thomas would be history, I wouldn't trade my friendship with you for anything) I love him so much I can hardly stand it, and my parents can hardly stand the fact that we spend all day talking to each other. But I don't care with days like yesturday it's hard to be apart from Thomas.

BTW Will is in BIG trouble for ditching us at the carnival. And I really want to know why Leon was throwing dominos at people.

l8tr all of you
¢

                          Hi!


Sorry guys I know I should be around on here more often things have been getting quite hectic. Especially with what's happened to poor Tish, no one can say we weren't expecting it, but it still didn't have to happen.

Anyway we've discussed that enough over the past days to keep it out of my journal. Not too much homework tonight which is great, it's 8 in the morning and I still have to wait two hours before Thomas will call me and then I have to figure out how to convince my folks to let me go out with him today. lol

I haven't been updating my immortals lately either which really upsets me because I love writting and nothing should have to take me from it, even this horrid practice of school. My mother just now figured out how much it stresses me out and how I'm already starting to feel overloaded and said "well maybe you should switch out." Sure like I'm dumb enough to switch out already a marking grade into school, not likely besides I like all of my classes this year. Well I could go without Environmental Science but that can't be helped.

I suppose I could use a paragraph to speal about Thomas, we've been talking alot lately about things I suppose are important I'm just not used to them being such a big issue this early in a relationship and I don't know if that's a good thing or if we're already hitting snags. Though I know part of it is my fault, don't give me that smile Alsa.
He said he found it hard to believe I loved him and I yelled at him for it but now that I think of it, he's right.

I don't find myself old or wise enough to really know what love is or what it can be, I mean what 16 year-old really does. The only things I can know is that I prefer his company to anyone else's, that having a guy I can actually talk things over with feels good, though at times it makes me miss my dear Alex, (and no I haven't heard from him recently so I'm back to thinking he's died). He doesn't think so but the way he looks at me sometimes makes me melt more than anything I've ever felt, and just being able to lay my head on his shoulder or his chest and then listen to his heartbeat. -sigh-

Yay my parents are leaving soon, though they have yet to decide if they're going to the homeshow, I don't really care either way but it would be kind of nice to have the house to myself all day.

Anywho I guess I'm sighing off for awhile then. Byes!





You Make Me High (6 Reviews)
by Jason Mraz
Transcribed by Bri Carerra (lovetoloveu@hotmail.com)

Well I don't know just what I'm here for
I want more than words can describe
I've been deprived
Can you believe it
My whole world well its fallin' apart
well it falls, still it falls, well it falls apart around me

And you pick me back up, oh said you pickin' back up
oh you gonna pick me back up and you get a' me high
Said at you pick me back up, oh said you pickin' back up
oh you gonna pick me back up and you get a' me high

Cuz' I'm drinkin' all of the tears you cry
And I don't wish, to know my ending, mmmmm'
I just say I wanna know when I begun
I wanna know when I begun
I wanna know where it started from
where it all had started from

Because I feel like I am spinning,
I feel like I'm spinning
Well I feel just like I'm spinning I'm spinning around
oh oh oh oh
said I feel like I am spinning
all around this summer
and the winter comes and another storm
it falls, well it falls, said it falls apart around me

And you pick me back up, oh said you pickin' back up
oh you gonna pick me back up and you get a' me high
Oh my, my, my
Said you pick me back up, oh said you pick me back up
oh you gonna pick me back up and you get a' me high
Said I'm drinkin

Yes everyone be proud of me I have put sound on my page! lol. Yes I know I haven't updated much but hey I've been mondo busy with school and trying to get this project set up for psych only to have two more laid down upon me. I swear Ruiz is trying really hard to keep me from having a life right now.

Obviously the greatest thing these days is Thomas, who's in big trouble both for buying me that silk gladiola which has a cute spot in my room now and for thinking he could ever get me a collar. :) Awww luv ya sweetie.

Let's see I ordered my homecoming dress with any luck it'll look halfway decent on me and I won't have to worry about shopping for one.

Progress reports came out today... I have a B! Ah but it's only an 89 I can get it up no problem...stupid English. Actually I love my english class but that's beside the point.

Okay this is really short but that's only because I have nothing really to talk about besides wondering what is up with Cela lately. Gah I swear sometimes she goes through these moods where I love her more than a sister but I want to pull my hair out sometimes. Though I know I've done the same to her more than once.




Self Centered Lyrics (The music that's playing)

I got it stuck in a bind
I don't even know why
It sucks to even try
But I won't try anymore

She took the afternoon train
To find a different plane
But life down the drain
Better than being ignored

Pre Chorus:
I think I'm taking a vacation now
I'm on holiday and maybe I won't rest
Until I've thrown it all away
Yeah I've got it down

Chorus:
I'm gonna feel sorry for myself
I want to blame it on everyone else
I want to be self centered
And make everybody feel sorry for me

She sent a postcard again
She said she had a new friend
I hope that by the end
He throws her heart to the floor
She says he's really ok
I hope he ends up gay
It's not a nice thing to say
But I don't care anymore

Bridge:
My leg fell asleep
Cause you laid on it
There's no reason to dwell on it
It's just not worth it
Remember a year ago
When we played in the show
Now get outta my head

Lets see today turned out ok. Lets start off with the good because well yeah. Good was Bermudez actually let me give the test out in English. Then the other good stuff didn't come until after school. Seeing as how Anime was cancelled Pip and I just went to the library so I could catch up on my homework...no such luck. Will and Mallory came bounding in, apparently Mallory didn't want to deal with the scary goths lol. Well then we were discussing my psych thing and Will goes crazy trying to get everyone in the library to do it including teachers just because he wants someone to choose exflitrate like him. I tell ya that was fun though I think Will gave me a bruise from punching me so many times...I was only trying to tickle him!

The last good thing was going out to dinner with Pat, Barb and even annoying Robert. I swear they were a blast making jokes left and right it quickly turned bad though when they started talking about how the waiter kept looking at me. It wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't of asked him if he was single...and if he was why was he flirting with me. Now I'll let you know that he was very cute and I took every chance I got to look his way but he was not flirtting with me! Everyone always says that when guys are looking at me and making jokes with me I mean come on they're just being friendly.

Now on to what made the day break even...ummm homework. That horrid pyschology experiment that went terribly terribly wrong. lol. Then there was of course Cela thinking the only thing I do with Pip is make-out with him. Which just for the record I have only done once and that was at the movies and we were watching The Order which turned out to be a really bad movie. But really I vaguely remember doing that alot around school the first few months I was dating Paul and I REALLY remember that one time at my house...oh yeah you guys know what I'm talking about. Though I suppose I shouldnt' be too hard on her because she has yet to know the whole boyfriend thing and though it's mainly her fault I'm just going to chalk it up to the fact that she doesn't know what she's talking about and has issues because I'm her only friend and therefore I give up having lunch alone with my boyfriend to be with her. Which I don't mind at all but I would prefer it if she didn't make such horrible comments about stuff she doesn't know just because Pip and I are so close.

Well and then really the only other bad thing is that I've got a load of homework to do and a splitting headache that won't let me get to it. GRRR

No pics or anything today I don't have time I just needed to rant a little bit.